Five couples are scattered about in a sunken living room. It’s close to midnight and they’re all donning black-tie attire from an event earlier in the evening. They had taken a limo to the event and then back to this home, where all their cars converged. They laze about on the couches, rehashing the night; retelling earlier conversations and gossip; commenting on who was coupled with whom and how others were dressed. All of it is very friendly and light-hearted, with a twinge of snobbishness and gossip. In this intimate social circle, they speak freely.
One partygoer steps away from the group and makes her way to the kitchen. She opens the refrigerator to refill a water glass and sees a can of biscuits. She is reminded of a rarely eaten, delicious treat. She returns to the group with a memory of using leftover canned biscuits as a recipe for jelly-filled doughnuts. Roll out the biscuit to a flat circle, fill it with a big tablespoon of jelly, fold the dough over to crimp the edges, and seal. Then, fry in hot oil. One person relishes this decadence. The majority are aghast about eating fried food.
‘You’ve eaten a donut, right?’
‘Of course, I have!’
‘Well, what’s the difference? Because you bought it in a shop and didn’t personally drop the dough in a pan of grease?!’
Food shaming is one of the worst. One of the main reasons the group organized a limo was to take it through the drive-through at McDonald’s and order out of the rooftop window. ‘How cool would we look?’ ‘How cool would that be?’ The inconsistency is obnoxious.
Much of the group was raised by two-parent households with sit-down dinners of meat and two veg plates; nothing processed. What do they know of cereal or ramen noodles for dinner? Or powdered milk and generic peanut butter from the welfare pickup? Or monthly visits to a church for food donations? Or the embarrassing moment a best friend asked why there was only a stick of butter and a box of baking soda in the refrigerator. We don’t know where anyone comes from culturally or economically when it comes to their food choices. People make do with what they have. The can of biscuits was drying out. Frying donuts made them deliciously consumable.
Two young cousins run down the freezer food aisle of the grocery while the mother of one of them gathers other provisions. They’ve been tasked with picking out their Nighthawk tv dinners. The younger of the two knows this meal is a staple in her cousin’s house. She’s come to expect this as dinner when she stays the night, as well as McDonald’s for breakfast. It’s as if the mother is not inclined to ever cook or venture from what has become tolerated and habitual. The mother works a day job and a night job, so the young tweens are left to their own vices. They can microwave without burning down the house certainly. The irony is the mother came from a homecooked meal environment; everything was made from scratch; even the peas had to be snapped first.
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Culture, life circumstances, and finances are the big determinants of what we eat...all until education and outside exposure come into play. Sometimes education doesn’t alter behavior. Even when all the information is provided, some still don’t adjust their food choices because the home surroundings and peer group haven’t changed. Intellectually, we all know eating whole foods is better than a processed bag of chips. Even most parents with no nutritional education fret over the phase of no vegetables in their toddler’s picky diet of mac’n’cheese and chicken nuggets. Most Americans don’t drastically alter their eating habits until a rock bottom of personal disgust or a health scare. But things can also drastically shift after having sushi for the first time, or living with a vegan for three months, or being around someone from a different country who uses entirely different ingredients and flavor combinations. It is also irrefutable that the more affluent one is, the healthier they eat: because they can afford to, because they are exposed to more cuisines, and because their social status and place amongst peers depend on their appearance.
Sometimes we just need to satiate hunger. Sometimes we need to celebrate. Sometimes we need a homecooked meal. Sometimes we need a big ass salad. Yes, food can be harmful. Yes, it can be emotionally consumed. I long ago stopped judging people about their food choices, though, because none of us knows where another is coming from. It’s easy to feel repulsed or disgusted or even sad about another person’s diet. But why? Hysterically, there appears to be a wildly profitable industry of people sitting in their cars eating fast food and rating it on Instagram and also thousands on Youtube simply filming themselves biting and chewing any number of foods. The popularity of this is beyond bizarre. I guess we really are fascinated by what others eat. “They’re giving themselves high cholesterol and diabetes,” I think. But they’re also enjoying themselves. I hope you have a delicious Thanksgiving.
*frozen food aisle image from Eater.com